Read the original on Psychology Today here

Finding a job that meets your needs can be challenging, whether you’re looking for a career change, or are unemployed and keen to get back into the workforce as quickly as possible. Even people with strong and supportive networks can struggle to find the right opportunity, but that may partly be because they don’t allow their networks to help them as much as they could.

Here are three actions people commonly need to correct when looking for new roles, mistakes that prevent their friends, families and colleagues from opening doors for them.

1. Asking only a handful of people for help

When looking for work, it’s easy to ask only people close to us or to dismiss people’s offers of help because we don’t think they will have networks relevant to our goals. So, we talk to our close friends or look for people in our network with relevant experience in the field in which we want to work and ignore everyone else.

The dangerous assumption we make ignores the potential reach that weaker ties give us and the relationships that people build with others beyond their workplace.

In 1973, Stanford sociologist Mark Granovetter surveyed 282 men in the United States and analysed how they found their jobs. Granovetter survey found that casual connections and loose acquaintances were more helpful than established, strong relationships in finding new employment.

“Your weak ties connect you to networks outside of your own circle,” Granovetter explained. In other words, when you approach only people close to you, their reach to new people is limited, as you are likely to have a lot of contacts in common. Whereas when you ask someone further removed from your core friendships for help, they have a greater circle of people to reach out to whom you don’t know.

Meanwhile, although your friend or family member may not work in your desired field, they may be good friends with someone who does and would be more than happy to make an introduction for you.

Lesson One: Share what you’re looking for far and wide. Don’t restrict your requests for help to people in your most trusted circle or who work in a directly related field.

2. Assuming there’s only one role to apply for

It’s easy to assume that we are qualified for only specific jobs, particularly after many years working in that role. Doing so severely limits prospects for finding something new, particularly if you work in a sector that is downsizing or serve a function is becoming less relevant.

Don’t assume that you can’t find work elsewhere. Our lived experience limits our view of what roles are available to us; we need to explore with other people what opportunities might lie elsewhere, roles we had never previously been aware of.

Talk to people in your personal and professional networks who are employed across different industries and in a range of roles. Share with them three things about the type of work you’d like to do:

• What you are good at
• What you enjoy doing
• What environment you prefer to work in.

Then ask them what jobs might resemble your answers in their world. Use the conversations to create a broader perspective of the type of jobs you might be able to do and can look for.

Lesson Two: Strip away the job title. Focus on what a job looks like rather than a specific role when asking people for their help. They may open your eyes to openings you wouldn’t have considered otherwise.

3. Being vague about what you’re looking for

Fear prevents people from being clear about how others can help them. We worry that we will miss opportunities, so we cast the net as widely as possible. Instead of asking for specific introductions or help that will make a difference, we play it safe and ask for “anyone who might have a job”.

The problem with asking for “anyone” is that it will get you no one. You are asking the other person to do all of the thinking for you, and they have their own issues to deal with. Draw a really clear picture for others about the type of work you’re looking for so that they can see an image in their mind’s eye of the person they will introduce you to.

This doesn’t mean that you ask only for one kind of opportunity. If you have done your homework beforehand, you should have a list of possible roles you can seek. It’s OK to ask for different help, depending on who you speak to. Point each individual in a direction that will make sense to them, think about who they know and how they can help, and frame your request using that knowledge.

Lesson Three: Be specific in your request. Consider who someone knows or how they could help, and frame your request accordingly.

We need to get out of our own way when looking for work and let other people help us. These are just three ways we fail to enjoy the full potential our networks offer, yet if we cast our net more widely, we will be far more likely to find the job of our dreams.