When everything becomes a transaction, trust is the first casualty.

Vijay works in a high-pressure, deal-centred environment in banking. When a deal is in progress, it becomes the all-consuming focus. Personal and family life are put on the back burner, and all-nighters are routinely pulled as deadlines loom.

In such an environment, relationships with colleagues and clients not tied to the imminent deal fall off Vijay’s radar. Relationship capital—a network of trusted connections who can refer, support, and advocate—is a “nice to have”, not a necessity. Non-transactional conversations can wait until the deal is finalised.

All completely understandable, of course. Vijay is not alone in facing the pressures that come with securing high-stakes deals. Professionals across a range of sectors can relate to the long hours and strict prioritisation. But at what cost?

Ultimately, we all depend to some degree on the network we build around us. Whether it’s to seek advice, share frustrations, amplify our ideas, or make key introductions, other people make our jobs easier. Their willingness to do so, however, relies on how much they like and trust us. And trust is built by investing in relationships over time. If we put that investment on hold, why would others be there when we need them?

The Hidden Cost of Transactional Mindsets

Vijay might argue that, just because he’s focused on a key transaction, it doesn’t mean that he’s working in isolation. He’ll still be enjoying conversations with colleagues involved in the deal, both within and outside his team; it’s just that those conversations will be focused on the work.

There’s a difference in the quality of conversations, though, and that difference can have a substantial impact. A 2023 survey of 634 WeChat users revealed that the true drivers of perceived social support aren’t simply how many contacts we have or how often we interact but rather how deeply we engage and with whom. The research found that larger network size boosts social support only when interactions involve personal topics—not just small talk—and that the emotional quality of the people we’re talking to matters more than frequency.

In practical terms: transactional interactions—those limited to task-focused check-ins or surface-level exchanges—fail to foster meaningful relational depth. It’s the lack of emotional engagement and selective investment in relationships that explains why purely results-driven behaviours erode the sense of support, trust, and cohesion that underpin high-performing teams.

Additionally, while delivering effectively on a deal will increase the levels of cognitive trust, defined by Erin Meyer as trust “based on the confidence you feel in another person’s accomplishments, skills and reliability”, a purely transactional approach will have little effect on affective trust, that arising from feelings of emotional closeness, empathy or friendship.

If you’re focusing on a deal, you’re failing to connect on a human level. And people enjoy helping people they know, like, and trust.

Embed Relational Rituals in Day-to-Day Work

You don’t need to carve out vast amounts of time to develop human connection, especially when there’s enormous pressure on your time. There are small steps you can take to build affective trust.

Start by opening meetings with some small talk, and really listen and engage in that part of the conversation. Ask what someone has planned for the weekend (or what they got up to if you’re meeting in the early part of the week). Chat about a concert you went to recently, or the performance of your favourite sports team. The key is to find something you share and then let the conversation flow for a few minutes before getting down to the nuts and bolts of the deal.

If someone makes a contribution to a meeting that resonates with you, supports your work, or suggests something that has a positive impact, drop them a note to show your appreciation. Small, human touches of this nature are often unexpected and very welcome. It takes seconds but can have a tremendous impact.

Trust doesn’t rely on big gestures and substantial time commitments. Micro-moments that foster connection can go a long way to developing stronger relationships. They subtly tell others that we value them.

Pause Your Own Agenda

Making others feel valued is key to developing strong, trusted relationships. Consciously pause your own agenda during a deal to understand the pressures others face. Stop and ask simple questions such as:

“What pressures are you facing right now that I might not be aware of?”

“What do you need to come out of this meeting with?”

“How can I be most helpful to you right now?”

Just by asking these questions, you shift the dynamic of the conversation. You’re still focused on the task ahead but in a more collaborative way. The relational equity you build from this approach provides an emotional buffer that strengthens collaboration in challenging moments—and ensures others want to support you in a similar way.

Connection Is Not Just a Luxury

Transactional thinking might feel efficient, but often it’s a false economy. Strong relationships underpin effective performance, and it’s those trusted connections and supportive contributions from your network that might be the difference in getting your deal over the line.

Professional networks won’t completely remove the pressure Vijay faces when he’s in deal mode. However, if he allows a little time and makes a mindset change to maintain his focus on them at all times, he might just find that they relieve the pressure by supporting him towards his ultimate goal.

And allow him to spend more time on the relationships that really matter, with his family.