Don’t disrespect the people who support you or waste their time by failing to follow up on their advice or with them.
That doesn’t mean that you have to follow their advice, that decision is yours alone. But listen, review and reframe their advice before deciding how to react. And keep them in the loop so that they understand your thinking and feel valued.
Bal Nanray told me, ‘In my earlier career one of my mentors used this method: Frame – set up the discussion and share your thoughts. Feedback – what went well and what could be a better alternative. Feelings – how does one feel about what you said to them? Follow up– Discuss next steps, help and support.’
Of course it is important that people’s feelings aren’t hurt in the process but, as the person asking for help, you need to put your sensitivity to one side and allow people to be brutally honest with you.
Maintain momentum in your mentoring or masterminding relationships so that the support flows and you make constant progress.
Be fair to those supporting you by giving them the context and information they need and all of your attention and respect.
‘How many times have we seen people suggesting we can achieve anything if we want to…. and yet my plan to win Wimbledon lies languishing?’ – Guy Clapperton.
Pay attention to how you are feeling as well as to what you are doing. Your instinct will often guide you towards the resolution that is right for you.
Invite your mentors to challenge fallacies and bust myths that might be guiding you down the wrong path.
Thank you to everyone who contributed. I’ve left out a number of excellent suggestions because of space and next time we will be moving onto the letter G. Please send me your suggestions by Friday August 7th.
Thanks to Sajna Rahman, Vanessa Vallely, Franco Milazzo, Catherine Dann, Ian Steel, Lynda Shaw, Matt Collins, Celynn Erasmus, Solveig Malvik, Sam Rathling, Nigel Risner, Philippa Bowen, David Marks, Jay Allyson, Fiona Stevenson, Kym Hamer, Clare Bailey, Gina Carr, David Price, Derek Woolley, Paul Brown, Jacqui Byland, Susan Heaton Wright, Rhiannon Evans, Jonathan Carroll, AnnMarie Graham, Stuart Swindell, Deborah Henley, Arvind Devalia, Gordon Tredgold, Guy Clapperton, Erini Rodis, Michael Birchmore, David Hyner, Bal Nanray, Tim Guest, Ana Mariano and Anne Kiely for your suggestions.