In today’s fast-paced and increasingly interconnected professional world, leaders who fail to approach their professional relationships strategically risk more than just missing potential opportunities. Influence, impact, and innovation all hinge on the strength and depth of those relationships.

Here are seven common and costly mistakes that can erode your leadership capital – and some practical advice on how to avoid them.

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1. Confusing Visibility with Influence
Being seen and known isn’t the same as being trusted or making a meaningful impact. Many leaders mistakenly equate presence (especially online) with influence. True influence is built on credibility, trust, and meaningful engagement.

Avoid it: Focus on the quality of interactions, not just quantity. Use tools like Influence Mapping to assess who actually moves the needle in your world, to understand how strong your relationship is, and to assess how well you understand what is important to them.

2. Underinvesting in Internal Relationships
External networks often get more attention, especially in sales or client-facing roles. However, neglecting cross-functional and internal stakeholders weakens your ability to lead change and secure internal buy-in and support.

Avoid it: Prioritise regular check-ins, informal touch-points, and internal collaborations. Don’t expect colleagues to help you just because you work for the same organisation; understand their priorities and why they would want to help you if your needs don’t match theirs.

3. Leaving Relationships to Chance
Reactive networking is like showing up to deliver a presentation without planning or rehearsing what you want to say. Without preparation, your impact is scattered, inconsistent, and easily forgotten.

Avoid it: Map your strategic connections using tools like the Relationship Matrix. Identify your blind spots and act thoughtfully to nurture and leverage key relationships where needed. The key is to do so naturally and authentically, so that it doesn’t leave people feeling ‘networked’ by you. You can be strategic and genuine at the same time.

4. Mistaking Transactions for Trust
Many leaders approach relationships with a transactional mindset, only connecting when they need something. This erodes trust and damages long-term influence.

Avoid it: Shift to an abundant mindset. Seek to support people across your network where you can, without expectation of return. As you invest in your relationship capital, people will be more open to support you if and when the opportunity arises.

5. Ignoring the Power of Weak Ties
Leaders often focus only on their immediate circle, missing the unexpected insight and opportunity that can come from looser, more diverse connections.

Avoid it: Nurture a mix of strong and weak ties. Say yes to some random coffees. Be open to different perspectives.

6. Neglecting Relationship Follow-Up
A powerful conversation or introduction is wasted without thoughtful follow-up. Dropped threads signal disinterest or unreliability. It also sends a negative message about how you value the other person’s time.

Avoid it: Use systems or reminders to follow up. After you’ve met someone for the first time, use 24-7-30. Send personalised messages. Track touch-points so that you know when it’s time to reconnect.

7. Overlooking the Role of Reputation
Influence isn’t just about who you know, but what they know and say about you when you’re not in the room. Leaders who fail to manage their personal brand lose opportunities in conversations they’re unaware are taking place.

Avoid it: Be intentional about how you show up, how people perceive you and make sure that what you share resonates in a way that makes your message both sticky and transferable.

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Relationships are not ‘soft skills’. They are the foundation of leadership success. Avoid these common mistakes, and you position yourself to lead with greater confidence, clarity, and influence.

For deeper tools and insights, pick up a copy of Connected Leadership today and subscribe to The Connected Leadership Podcast.