I’ve often called out “What do you do?” and “How’s work?” as problematic questions. As they are both so often employed as ice breakers, we can never be sure just how detailed a response the questioner is looking for and, as a result, either reply with a cursory, “Fine” or simply move past the question.

But both questions are an opportunity for more meaningful conversations, ones that can lead to support that we badly need. What we don’t want to do though, is take the opposite approach to the cursory acknowledgment and overwhelm people with information.

This is where the ‘Corridor of Conversation’ comes in.

Imagine a corridor with doors at various points along the way. To get to the end of the corridor, you need to pass through those doors. But it’s the person you’re speaking with who decides whether or not to open each one, you just lead them towards it.

So, when someone asks you “How’s work?”, instead of a curt response and moving on, give them a one sentence answer designed to elicit interest. For example, “It’s great at the moment, I’m working on an exciting project.”

There are two possible responses to this. One is, “That sounds nice”, which, when not followed up with a question, implies that the questioner is not really that interested and doesn’t want to pass through the door to the next part of the corridor. Or, alternatively, “Really? Tell me more, what are you working on?”.

The second answer is a request to pass through the door and move further along the corridor. Share just enough about your project (allowing for considerations of confidentiality) to elicit further interest and another decision for the questioner – whether they want to know more and travel further down the corridor or do they want to stop at this door, they’ve heard enough.

Feeding the questioner small snippets of information and letting them decide when they’ve heard enough draws people into the conversation and encourages genuine interest in what what you’re doing, leading to more meaningful conversations and a stronger connection between you.