Over the last quarter of a century working in networking and professional relationships, one obstacle has reared its head more than any other – time. In an increasingly busy world and faced by pressing deadlines, people struggle to prioritise building relationships and staying in touch with people.

As networks grow, it can be hard to work out in which relationships to invest already scarce time.

Social media has proved to be a tremendous asset, allowing us to stay ‘in sight in mind’ without having to meet everyone face to face on a regular basis. But it can also be an enormous drain on time, needing to be used thoughtfully.

After developing The Seven Stages of Professional Relationships a few years ago, something occurred to me. All relationships are not equal and we don’t actually need to invest the same amount of time with different connections.

When we first meet people (‘Recognise’ and ‘Know’ on the image above), it would probably feel a little bit strange if we were to invest a huge amount of time following up. Yes, you need to develop the relationship, I’ve long shared the 24-7-30 technique of ensuring people stay in your network (follow up after 24 hours, seven days and thirty days). But these can be relatively light touchpoints. Anything more can seem needy.

When we know people really well (‘Support’ through to ‘Friend’), it might be natural to see a lot of each other but we don’t have to. I’ve reconnected with strong contacts after many years, sometimes even over a decade, and found that we’ve been able to pick up where we left off and would happily help each other.

The stages where we really need to invest our time are with those people who like and trust us. They have the potential to become big supporters and advocates, we may just need to nurture the relationship further.

This doesn’t mean excluding others and not engaging with them. A good approach to professional relationships blends the strategic – knowing where you need to invest your time to help move you towards your objectives with the help of other people, with the relational – engaging with people authentically and naturally.

But if time is a challenge, this approach to recognising where to invest it can pay big dividends.